How To Be Your Best Self- 5 Tips

How to be your best self
Live life as though nobody is watching, and express yourself as though everyone is listening
— Nelson Madela

As women, we are often told what to do or how to act. The way the world sees us is often skewed by the preconceived notion of what a woman's place is. We are placed in boxes that determine our behaviors. We are told how to dress, how to act, how to talk every single day. How many times have you heard the phrase "be yourself" accompanied by a very obvious glare relating to the fact that although you are to be yourself, you also need to fit the standards set? I am constantly being told to "tone it down" or "adapt" to the situations around me rather than to be myself. I have had to learn through the course of time that your biggest champion is YOU and your biggest critic should always and only ever be yourself. 

Your true self should be unapologetic about who we are. You should be able to embrace your uniqueness in all of its glory and not conform to societal standards. I learned through time to push against those barriers that so forcefully want to put me in a cage. I have learned to accept who I am without restrictions and I want you to be able to do that too! For anyone who has struggled with finding themselves in any way shape or form... here are a few tips that have helped me be my best self every day. 

1) Be Positive

Positivity is extremely important for your well-being. Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results. I struggle with this step every day when I wake up in the morning. I am grumpy because I am not a morning person- I mean who is?  but I soon realize that the tone I set in the mornings and anytime in my life is the way the whole day would appear. I then consciously listen to some good music to get myself thinking positively. Smiling and being positive goes a long way, I hope you never forget that. 

2) Do not let what anyone says define who you are

Most times our biggest downfall is letting what everyone says affect our behaviors and actions. Trust me, I understand. As a 20-year-old college student who has been through high school and is about to graduate college, I understand the problem of not fitting in. I have been laughed at for being "weird" and for being "extra" and at times I would begin to try to change who I was to fit in but at the end of the day, that choice only made me unhappy. Our greatest strengths are in our uniqueness so be beautiful and uniquely yourself. Do not let anyone tell you who you can or cannot be. You were only born to be you. 

3) Create Goals that lead to Self-enrichment

My goals are the one thing that keeps me focused and push me to be my best. I have daily, weekly and monthly goals that I know are achievable if I put my best foot forward. Start small, choose your goals wisely and aim for those goals. Make sure whatever goal you set is in line with who you are! 

4) Surround yourself with the right people

Show me your friends and I would tell you who you are is an old saying that I hear so many times from my Nigerian mom when she disapproves of a friend that I have brought home. However, this saying rings true. The crowd you roll with should be a direct reflection of who you are. So, make sure you pick the right group of people who would help you be your best self and vice versa. 


Knowing who you are is essential to being the best version of yourself. When you look in the mirror who is the person you want to see? That person is who you should aspire to be. I usually take some time out of my day to read up on some people who inspire me and find out how I could learn from them to better myself. I do this every morning so every day I am set with new goals and inspiration to continuously better myself. 

We have all felt the pressures to conform and sometimes we do fall prey to societies definition of who we are supposed to be. In the short run, however, you realize that you are truly your happiest self when you are at your best. 

I hope you loved this post and you took a thing or two from this. If you have any tips for me or anyone else on how to be your best self please comment below and share! I would love to learn more and continue to grow.